One woman went on 100 dates in a year, and handed down some advice. Dating in this day and age is a whole new type of experience. You have dating apps setting you up on your phone, websites devoted to finding you someone to love, and the traditional means of meeting someone on your own. Then, of course, there are those blind dates your best friend is always setting you up on. You can’t say no, that would just be rude.
So, in this mix of technology and friends how do you make the most out of the dating game? Everyone is looking for that perfect place to find Mr. Right. Well, guess what, there isn’t one. Every person has their own style and tastes; therefore, each match has its own time and place. This is a hard concept, I know. So, let’s take some advice from someone who has done the leg work and made it through the dating game. Here is some top dating advice from a woman who went on 100 dates in a year to help you traverse this time-honored tradition called dating.
Keep an Open Mind and Heart
The first thing you need to remember when you start dating again or for the first time is to keep an open mind. Do not go into any date with expectations as to the outcome. Dating is a time to enjoy yourself and meet some nice (and not so nice) people. You should enjoy this time. Having expectations will only lead to disappointment and make for a jaded view on future dates. So, do yourself a favor and just have fun.
Along with an open mind you need to keep your heart open. If you have closed your heart to pain because of past failures or losses, that means it is closed to love as well. If you are just dating to kill time then this won’t be a problem. For most, though the dating game is a process for finding someone to spend time with, hopefully, a lot of time. So, keeping your heart open to possibilities will let it happen naturally.
You Have to Live Life to Find Love
Okay, people, this one is important, so pay attention. You have to live life to find love. Yep, this means you have to leave the comfort of your little hideaway and make yourself available to find love. Simply put, get out there and see what life has to offer. You never know when love will fall into your lap. Well, maybe not literally, but you get the point.
Pursue what makes you happy. If you love to run, start running every day. If movies are your thing, go see some. Yes, even if that means going alone. What harm is there in that? You might just find someone else there alone and hit it off. If not, you have spent an enjoyable few hours.
The point is, the more you are out living your life the more people you will meet. The more people you cross paths with the better your chances of finding one you like enough for a second (and maybe third and fourth) glance. Then maybe you will even find one you are willing to go on a date with. But you will never find them moping at home.
Think Outside the Box
Thinking outside the box ties very well into living your life. This would include the whole going to the movies by yourself. Follow this up with having dinner in a restaurant solo. Choose your favorite place to eat and make a reservation, or even better, just wing it. You might find someone else on their own and strike up a conversation. At least if you are at your favorite eating place you will know you have something in common. At worst you have a good meal, at best you find someone to share it with.
Following this train of thought, you should try new things as well. Be adventurous. In this way, you can find new things to fill your time and meet people you normally wouldn’t
have the chance to. What’s the worst that could happen, you spend the day finding out you really enjoy jumping out of airplanes. You might even find someone to jump with. Think of the possibilities you could find.
Update Your Social Status
This next piece of advice is all too important in the age of technology and social media we live in. Updating your social status. This does not just mean changing your social media profile to read single. Although that is a good start. What this truly means is to change your way of thinking and project yourself as available. If you seem aloof and unapproachable then you are sending the signal that you are in a relationship or not interested. This makes dating difficult.
So, open yourself up and put your best face forward. Talk to that stranger on the subway. Wink and the hot person in line just because you can. Letting people know you are available and being approachable will encourage others to do the same.
Give Online Dating a Chance
I know this one is a bit scary. You see online dating and think why bother. The truth is online dating is a good way to meet people and make friends while you are at it. You do not necessarily have to sign up for those dating apps. You could just check out some chat rooms like this one http://www.chatib.us/user/chatroom/General-Chat-Room or this one for singles http://www.chatib.us/user/chatroom/Singles-Chat-Room. Another great idea for meeting others is sites like Thiscrush.net, that will allow you to set up a profile and have people send you messages. They can even send you crush notices, essentially making the first move to asking for that first date.
The great thing about chat rooms and online dating is that you can talk with someone with no pressure. You can avoid the awkwardness of the first conversation. With online dating, you can get a general feel for a person before you ever meet them. That is of course if you are honest and they are honest in return.
Be Honest and True to Yourself
Which brings us to the next bit of dating advice. Be honest and true to yourself. Many just starting out in the dating scene will try to hype themselves up to impress potential suitors. Trust me, this is not necessary and will backfire in the end. Murphy’s Law definitely applies here. “If it can go wrong, it will go wrong.” In other words, if you lie about it now, you will get caught. Then you have embarrassed yourself and everything you lied for will be gone anyway.
Besides, playing an act all of the time is tiresome and leaves you wondering if whomever you are with really likes you. If you are not being yourself the quick as is no, they do not like you. Because you haven’t even given them the chance to know you. The real you that is. Have confidence in yourself. You will be just fine the way you are. So, go out there and show the world the real you in all of your glory.
Enjoy Each Date for What It Is
Even going on 100 dates in a year, each one will be different. Enjoying each date for what it is will help you to avoid being disappointed because it is not what you expected it to be. This goes back to not having expectations going into a date. You will never know how much fun a date can be until you live it. If you are too busy waiting on some preconceived notion of what it should be, you will miss out on what it could be.
With this principle in mind, go out there and have fun with whatever life throws into your date. Maybe you end up soaking wet because you went for a walk and it started raining. But now you know your date is carefree and spontaneous. And just maybe you find out you like singing in the rain and jumping in puddles. Let the kid out to play and find out what your date has to offer.
It is All About the Numbers and Losing Count
When you are dating it is easy to get caught up in the numbers, and we are not just talking about the number of 100 dates in a year. The true test of dating is losing count. When you have lost count of how many dates you have been on it means you are having fun with this game called dating. You are living life to the fullest. Giving chances and finding new adventures along the way. This is a great way to show people your true self.
When you are living in the moment instead of for the moment you are sure to make friends. People will want to be around you. To thrive off your positive outlook and enjoy the ride. This will also give you a chance to meet more people and you never know which one of those will sweep you off your feet.
Be Punctual, it Shows Respect
Whether you go on 100 dates in a year or one, punctuality is important in most things, dating included. When you arrive on time you are showing your date that you respect them and value their time. It also shows a great deal of responsibility. This is a good way to start out a new friendship. Whether this date leads to future love is not the important part of this date. Showing your date that you are worthy of a second date is the point here. Besides, many great love stories start with two friends. So what harm is there in making this little effort?
Make the Conversation a Mutual Affair
Listen, people. No, really listen. This is an amazing tip for dating. Too often you will go on a date and feel the need to tell your life story. If that is what your date is looking for, okay. But what about them? If you have spent the whole time talking about yourself, what will you learn about your date, and who they are? The answer is nothing.
You need to talk about you but in a conversational way. Make it a give and take, not an all give or all take. But here is the kicker. It is fine to let each person have their say. You need to truly listen to what they are saying though. This is where you will get all the information you need to make the crucial decision for the second and third dates. If you truly listen you will find out what interests they have, what they dislike, what similarities the two of you share. This is only possible though if you are paying attention to the conversation.
Keep the Past Where it Belongs (In the Past)
Going on 100 dates in a year gave the contributor this bit of insight. This final bit of advice is something that most people should know. That being said many still make this mistake. Keep the past where it belongs. It is called the past for a reason. There is not a reason I can think of that you should be talking about your exes or their exes on a date. This is one of the best ways to ruin your chances of future dates. No person out there wants to hear what went wrong in your past relationships when they are just getting to know you. Save that for when you have an established relationship. If it comes up then. Otherwise, let the past go.
Dating does not have to be scary or frustrating, and you do not have to go on 100 dates in a year. Quite the contrary, if you follow the above tips for dating you may find that you enjoy this little game called dating. Also, remember to keep the old adage in mine, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.” If your first date or the first fifty don’t have you happy and in love, then keep going until you have lost count and that perfect person will be standing in front of you. This list of advice will help you along the way to enjoy yourself
