We’ve all been there: stereotypes about dating and the constant worry about what’s “right” and “wrong when it comes to dating. It can be difficult to push these stereotypes out of our minds and not let them get to us, especially when they’re everywhere! Additionally, it can be challenging not to get involved with someone and then let a silly stereotype ruin it.
From the stereotypical “ohh, all hot guys are jerks,” to the notion that all women are clingy and needy to the silly idea that the man must always be taller than the woman. Of course, these stereotypes are easily debunked with just a little background information. Let’s take a more in-depth look!
Five Stereotypes About Dating That Aren’t Always True
- Hot Guys are “jerks”
- The man must always be taller
- The man always needs to pay
- Women are clingy
- Looks are the most important
The “Hot Guys Are All Jerks” Stereotype
Of course, we’ve all heard it before: “I just won’t go for hot guys anymore because they’re all jerks!” Where this one of the stereotypes about dating came from, we’ll never truly know. That being said, this is something that tends to be heard from women a lot. Simply put, it’s just not true!
First and foremost, there is simply no scientific evidence of this idea. Furthermore, this is a completely subjective and completely relative opinion. Who is to say one guy is more attractive than another? Who’s to say what type of man is “hot” or “not?” This is simply a matter of opinion that could change from woman to woman. Therefore, there is no way to draw conclusive evidence from any part of a stereotypical statement like this!
That being said, there can be something about a date, male or female, being a “jerk.” Of course, this statement is also a little relative, but, there are specific aspects of a person’s behavior that may come off rude, condescending and inappropriate. So, at least part of this type of statement can be true.
On the other hand, let’s explore why something like this might be said. Oftentimes, when a female goes out with an attractive guy and his behavior, in her opinion, happens to be less that desirable, suddenly, all barriers of self-protection must be put up. And this means, putting up defenses and ripping apart your “hot” date’s personality.
So, the very first and easiest defense mechanism, is to take a job at the person’s looks. Of course, before he acted deplorable, he was very attractive and genuine. Now, however, because he was so good looking, this must be the reason he was such a jerk. Most times, this comment is coupled with a bit of jealously as well as the false association of looks with manners, when the two aren’t connected at all!
Generally, this stereotypical comment tends to be a defense mechanism and nothing more. Despite whether or not the guy was in fact a jerk, his looks probably have little to nothing to do with it and therefore, this is a dating stereotype and nothing more!
The Man Must Always Be Taller Stereotype
This just so happens to be one of the biggest stereotypes about dating out there and if you take a second to think about it, there is no real explanation, is there? When we think about any such reasoning behind this stereotype, it all seems a little silly, doesn’t it?
For some people, this might simply be a matter of individual choice in terms of what they’re most attracted to and if so, then it’s founded in reasoning. However, most times, this conversation that the man “needs” to be taller happens in passing, between friends. Sometimes, it’s deemed that it would be “weird” if the man wasn’t taller, or that you couldn’t view him as “masculine” if he wasn’t taller than you.
Let’s take a deeper look at what might be causing these ideas. First and foremost, the idea that a man won’t seem “masculine” if he’s shorter than you is actually a person’s insecurities coming out. Perhaps, if a woman feels as if the man won’t be masculine if he’s shorter, it might actually be her feeling masculine if she’s the taller one. This is simply her own insecurity showing through in the conversation.
Secondly, perhaps if, in a date’s eyes, the only way for a man to be masculine or attractive is to be taller (or at the very least it’s a contributing factor) then perhaps the true problem is the priorities of the women. Of course, looks are important but there are also so many other things to consider in your date. Personality, career, how they dress and they’re hobbies, just to name a few should be ranked far higher than their height.
Finally, by doing a simple Google search you can plainly see celebrities like Tom Cruise and his multiple partners make things work just fine, so perhaps there is just a little bit too much of a stereotype being created around this issue? Take time to ponder it at the very least!
The Man Should Pay Stereotype
Yet another one of the huge and vastly popular stereotypes about dating. The idea that the man should always be the one to pay on a date. It’s not only outdated but also goes against everything so modern-day feminist.
Of course, it’s nice to be treated with care and respect but those two things can come without one gender “having” to pay more than the other! Everyone wants to be treated and everyone wants to feel loved, however, is the man “having” to pay really accomplishing those things? Let’s take a closer look at why this might be a stereotype and the actual reasons it’s come about.
There were certain times in history where it was man’s legal right to control everything economic when it came to a relationship. From the house, to the work, to the purchase of everything for a home (down to even the food), was only within a man’s rights. In some social circles, this had lessened but not to the extent where a man still isn’t’ expected to pay, thus why the stereotype had continued to live.
Furthermore, there is also this idea floating around out there that in order to be a gentleman, a man much pay for the date. Or, in order to impress their date, a man should pay for their date on the activities they partake in. It’s true, that, for some, this might be a necessity. However, for most of the general population this is just a massive misconception people feel as if they need to demand from a date.
Other than the history behind masculinity, there are a few other reasons this stereotype exists. Part of it is that sometimes, people feel the need to be taken care of. They find it attractive for their date to be a person that can take care of them and provide things for them, financially. This is mostly just a matter of individual opinion and overall, women are just as capable of paying as men, as you will have many women tell you time and time again. Thus, making this nothing but a stereotype.
The Women Are Clingy Stereotype
Something you hear and time and time again stereotypes about dating is that women have clingy tendencies. “She won’t stop calling me,” or “she kept hinting at something more serious.” Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, however, that doesn’t make this stereotype truer than any other others.
To be fair, when you hear this stereotype, it does tend to come from men who perhaps aren’t looking for any sort of serious relationship or who just might be casually dating. When this is the case and they happen to go out with a woman who is looking for something more than just a single date, wires can get crossed a little, hence this stereotype. So much of this stereotype means nothing more than one person wanted more and the other didn’t and that difference also came down to the disagreement of two contrasting genders.
On the other hand, there are also times you hear women saying this about men they’ve dated. From “He keeps messaging me romantic messages,” to “he just won’t take the hint!” This is exactly the same stereotype but reversed based on gender. The bottom line, here, again, is that the two people dating, regardless of gender, just don’t have the same priorities in mind! They want different things and instead of just saying that, they feel the need to slight the other person for their priorities.
To get a most interesting perspective on this stereotype especially, you might want to try out a chat room! Chatib is a great place to get started. You can chat with users about topics like this stereotype and hundreds of other topics!
Lastly, part of this stereotype is also just not being interested in your date but being afraid to say so. Oftentimes, when people are disappointed about how things went on a date, they can’t just say what they feel, they need to use defense mechanisms to make it seem as if it’s obviously the other persons fault. Hence where this stereotype comes in and why it’s simply nothing more than that!
The Looks Are the Most Important Aspect Stereotype
Last but certainty not least, if any stereotype rings true, it has to be this one! We’ve all been there, with our friends, chatting about the attractiveness of the opposite sex and of course, it all comes down to looks. We convince ourselves that this is the only aspect that matters in another person. Furthermore, we feel as if we much convince ourselves as well as our friends that we truly believe this.
To truly debunk this stereotype, check out this site! Here, you can create a profile and people can comment and express their crush for you. After just a little while and a few comments, it will be clear, it may be looks that get the ball rolling, but there is always so much more than that! People have an inherent need and desire for more than just looks—we crave human connection and love from other beings.
Lastly, when people convince themselves and their friends that it’s all just about looks it’s simply their own insecurities shining through the outer exterior they’re working so hard to build up. By caring excessively what other people look like and therefore, how much you could like them, you’re only showing how shallow you are about your own look and your own body as well as insecurities you might have with your own personality. Instead of admitting that to yourself and your friends, you use the “looks” excuse as a front.
Overall on the Stereotypes about Dating
In conclusion, there are so many stereotypes about dating that it’s difficult to keep up.In addition, it’s also hard to understand why so many stereotypes exist and what exactly is the point of them all. More often than not, they stem from social pressures and person insecurities that most of the general population tends to have. Furthermore, when we use these stereotypes to our advantage, it tends to be just us putting up a front and using defense mechanisms.
From believing women are excessively clingy, to thinking the man should always be the one to pay for the date, to convincing yourself and your friends that everything is based on looks, stereotypes can be hurtful, shallow and oftentimes, completely unnecessary!
That being said, as we discussed throughout this article on the top 5 dating stereotypes, most the time, these stereotypes are nothing more than just that. They’re not based on any fact or scientific research and usually, they tend to be the result of gossip or personal problems people are unwilling to admit. Overall, the best thing to do when it comes to these stereotypes about dating is to simply ignore them!
