Dating is a scary, fun, exciting, frustrating, and enjoyable time of life. Whether you are just starting out or you are starting over, you are excited and nervous about what will happen on that first date. You build it up in your mind and spend the hold day preparing both mentally and physically for this first encounter. To ease the anxiety, we have made a list of 10 questions to never ask on a first date.
It doesn’t matter how you met or how long you have been talking, that first real date will be your only chance to make that great first impression. This is your time to shine and win their heart. Or it could be the time to find you are not so evenly matched. Don’t distress though, if you have been talking for a while, you could still become really good friends.
While you are enjoying your meal, you are going to work in conversation here and there. It is a must. This is the time to ask all of those questions that are running rampant through your head. Be careful though. Asking the wrong question could mean there won’t be a second date. We have you covered though. Here is a list of 10 questions you should never ask on a first date. Avoiding these will help ensure you put your best foot forward towards date number two. So, let’s jump right in.
1) Political and Religious Views are a No-No.
This first one is a kicker. Meaning they will either answer it or kick you to the curb right then. Politics and religion are two volatile subjects between friends. They are not topics that should even be broached with a date. By asking questions about either one of these topics you risk alienating someone who might have turned out to be the one. These are questions better left for when you are in a relationship not just getting to know each other.
When you ask your date for his/her political views you are building a bridge between the two of you. In order to cross this bridge, the other will have to answer in terms you agree with. But what happens if they do not agree? Then you will obviously argue your point and the rest of the date will be spent with each of you defending your position. Sounds like fun, right? Not really. This is a sure-fire way to avoid a second date though if that is your goal. Political and religious views are definitely one of the 10 questions you should never ask on a first date.
2) Why Are You Single? You Seem So Nice.
Though most of us are guilty of thinking this question, it should never be asked on a first date. This question can cause many problems both for you and your date. Not only does it lead to uncomfortable silence it can also lead to the other person questioning things better left at home.
When you ask someone why they are single you are inviting them to think of past relationships. This may remind them of the pain they dealt with over a breakup or happier times in their life. Or maybe they haven’t ever had a date because they are, well who knows, shy and particular. Either way, you will be creating an atmosphere that is no longer fun and exciting. And fun and exciting is the whole point of a first date, so ruining the mood probably won’t lead to a second date.
3) How Many Exes Do You Have?
Exes are definitely a topic to avoid on a first date. Yours and theirs. When you ask about exes on a first date you are doing much the same as asking why someone is single. You make them think of past relationships. These good or bad memories will now monopolize your dates thoughts, instead of you. While you might be curious about your date’s past, it is important to remember, a first date is for getting to know one another on a basic level. And to have fun.
Discussion of exes is a better topic for when you have been dating for a while and things are looking serious. Finding out how many exes your date has had or telling them your history could lead to prejudices that will ruin any possible future dates. Besides the fact that someone has had many exes could just mean that they were looking for the right person. But you will never know if you allow curiosity to ruin the first date.
4) How Much Money Do You Make?
Okay, so this is an important question but not for a first date. This is a question for a relationship that is becoming serious. Besides, you are independent and don’t need anyone to support you, so what does it really matter what they make? Asking money questions on a first date will leave the other with the impression that money is all you care about. Let’s face it, no one wants to come off as a gold digger.
Now if you just can’t get away from this curiosity and have to know if your date makes enough to be worthy of a second date, try a more subtle approach. Ask what kind of work they do. This will give you the basics of whether they are jobless and looking for someone to support them. It will also give insight into their likes or desires. Allowing you to have other topics to discuss that show you are interested in the person, not the bank account. People like to know others are interested in the things that make them happy. Therefore, asking questions that show an interest will warrant a second date a lot quicker than gold digger status will.
5) So, Do You Chat with a Lot of People?
Number 5 on our questions to never ask on a first date is geared mostly to those who have met online. Though it could apply to anyone. Joining general chatrooms like (http://www.chatib.us/user/chatroom/General-Chat-Room) or single’s chatrooms like http://www.chatib.us/user/chatroom/Singles-Chat-Room can be good ways to find someone you like and get to that first date. This does not mean you should ask your date how many people they chat with, in these chatrooms.
Avoiding this question on your first date will avoid an embarrassing moment for both you and your date. First of all who wants to know how many people someone is talking to in the search for Mr./Mrs. right. Second, if you ask this question it is only fair play for them to ask the same of you. Do you really want to admit how many people you are talking to? Maybe you are the type of person who only talks to one person while looking for a date. But let’s be honest, that is probably not true.
6) Do You Want Children?
Okay, the next one is a touchy subject all around. Thereby a definite no-no for the first date. Children are an important discussion to have before you get serious with a guy. Because you do not want to lead someone on and then find out you want them and they don’t or vice versa. However, like many other topics on this list, this is not a first date question.
First dates are for finding out if you like talking to the other person. Do you share any of the same interests? Coffee, good wine, art, these are all good subjects for the first date. Serious topics like having children should be reserved for later. When it appears that the relationship is going to become something more substantial than merely dating.
Have fun with your date. Talk about games you like or foods you enjoy cooking. Make a play date and sit and enjoy retro games like the ones found here: Classicreload.com. Or go for a bike ride. Find out if you enjoy each other’s company. Worry about the serious stuff later.
7) Who is Your Cute Friend?
Number 7 on the list of questions you should never ask on a first date should be a no brainer as one of the 10 questions you should never ask on a first date. Unfortunately, this question is asked far too often. Whether you are trying to be polite or are really interested, this is a do not cross territory. You are on a date with the person in front of you and that other person will have to wait until it is over at least.
This question will not only eliminate the chance for date number two, but it will also probably leave you eating dinner alone for date number one. No one man or woman likes for their date to refer their friends as cute, hot, fine, or any other terms. This will show them that you lack not only manners and courtesy but tact as well. Not all dates work out. You may in fact like your dates cute friend better. But will you ever know if you don’t at least give them the chance to show you who they are?
8) What Kind of Sex Do You Like?
This question should be obvious as one of the 10 questions that you should never ask on a first date. But it is worth discussing anyway. You should never ask what kind of sex your date likes on a first date. Though sex is no longer a taboo subject in most areas, it is still inappropriate for a first date. You risk making your date uncomfortable as well as sending signals you might not be meaning to.
When you ask about sexual likes and dislikes on the first date you are making yourself seem easy and willing. While this may not be the case, these questions will show an interest and portray that message to your date. This insinuation on your part for asking the question may lead your date to expect more from you at the end of a good date than you are willing to give. For this reason, sex is a topic that is better avoided on first dates.
9) Do You Have Any Bad Habits You Want to Tell Me About?
Okay, this one is something I would want to ask myself. Knowing someone’s bad habits before getting involved would be nice. That does not make it right though. Asking someone about their bad habits on a first date can feel like an invasion of privacy. While it would be nice to know in advance that they like to clip their toenails at the dining room table, it wouldn’t be fair and is not proper for the relaxed, fun experience of a first date.
Another issue with asking about bad habits is this too can be turned around on you. You may inspire the whole I told you now you tell me idea. And let’s be clear, we all want to know what bad habits others have, but we never want to reveal our own. This topic is better left alone. Discovering bad habits is a lot better in the throes of a relationship anyway. Then you might already like the person enough to forgive their little quirky habits.
10) When Will I See You Again?
Our last question is a big no-no. Okay, we all want to know the answer but should never ask the question. Asking when will I see you again, creates an obligation for the other person that first dates should avoid. It is important to let the date flow as it will. If it went well you will call them or they will call you. Either way, it is important to avoid putting the other in a situation where they feel they have to do something. This makes this the last of the 10 questions you should never ask on a first date.
Conclusion
First dates should be about enjoying the company of the other person. You should go in with no expectations and let the ambiance move the conversation along. This list of 10 questions you should never ask on a first date will help you avoid some awkward situations and can help you land that second date. Remember to have fun and if you would not want to answer the questions yourself it is probably better to avoid them. Because all is fair in love and war and turnabout is fair play. So, if you ask the uncomfortable questions it is likely they will be asked of you.
