Did you just break up with your significant other and you’re having a hard time? If so, know you’re not alone! We’ve all been there and all know that breaking up is hard. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the end of the world, either. Of course, for some time, it will be hard, and it will hurt, but, there are things you can do to make it hurt less and heal faster. From concentrating on yourself, adopting new hobbies and staying off social media (just to name a few) you can ensure your best survival through a breakup. So, let’s look at the 10 best tips for breaking up!
10 Best Tips for Breaking Up
- Stay Busy
- Avoid Social Media
- Remember
- Don’t Stay Friends
- Distance Yourself
- Time
- Self-Care/Self Love
- Adopt A New Hobby
- Clean Up
- Learn from It
Staying Busy is Key
Since it is common knowledge that breaking up is hard, there is probably a huge part of you that wants to lie in bed, watch romantic comedies, cry and eat ice cream by the pint. And if you need to do that for one or two days, that’s perfectly acceptable. However, at some point, sooner rather than later, preferably, you have to pick yourself up and get back to your daily routine.
Take the time you need to grieve, but remember, what will help you even more is to stay busy. Like, so busy, you don’t have time to think about the breakup or about your ex. So, this probably means you need to stay so busy you don’t even have time to go to the bathroom.
Do whatever it takes. Throw yourself into your work, go to the gym, take a yoga class, travel or simply clean every inch of your house. Whatever it takes to keep your mind occupied and off thoughts of the breakup. Remember, the busier you stay, the better off you’ll be!
Lastly, one way to stay busy and preoccupy your mind is through meeting new people. Now, you don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship with these people but meeting new, fresh faces and maybe getting just a little flirty is what you need? If so, give Chatib a try! It’s the perfect place to meet new people!
Avoid Social Media
We all know it: there is nothing worse than touting a breakup over social media. Its sloppy, it’s annoying, it’s needy and you simply don’t want or need to be that person. So, make the choice to stay away or even cut yourself off from social media as much as possible.
Much of social media is toxic. From always seeing others in relationships, to people getting married and having kids, to others breaking up—none of these things will be healthy to surround yourself with.
You especially don’t need to be on social media making comparisons of yourself to others. This is, of course, one of the subconscious toxic parts of social media. We see others and want to be like them and whatever they’re doing so successfully on social media. Hands down, this is just not a healthy environment for you to be spending time in after a breakup, so you’re better off swearing it off, all together. Even though it will be tempting, try to be stronger than your smart phone!
Remember Why You Broke Up
After breaking up with someone, or being dumped, it’s common to feel lonely. You’re shocked to now be alone and you’re not sure what to do or how to handle it. This may lead to feelings of desperation and those feelings of desperation may lead you to believe you want to reach out to your ex and potentially rekindle things.
Simply put, don’t do it! This is a slippery slope and just a bad, bad idea. If feelings like this arrive you have to do your best to remind yourself why you broke up. Clearly, there were strong, obvious reasons for the break up, no matter who did the breaking up itself. There are clear reasons you two aren’t supposed to be together and just because you feel lonely, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for you to be back with your ex.
Take time to remember why you two broke up and why it’s best, short and long term, for it to remain that way.
It’s Best Not to Stay Friends
We’ve all heard the phrase: “I think we should break up, but we can still be friends.” Although it’s meant as a nice gesture and centered around wishful thinking, overall, it’s a truly terrible idea. It may work for a short time, but not for long and in the end, someone always ends up getting even more hurt by this notion of “remaining friends.”
When you remain friends with someone you’ve broken up with (no matter who initiated the breakup) at some point, one person will have bigger expectations than the other. Whether it’s one person not giving enough to the friendship, or one person giving too much that it’s boarding a more serious relationship, again, it’s just simply not going to work long term.
If you truly want to move on, get over the person and the relationship that hanging onto lose strings, like a friendship just isn’t going to work. You have to be strong enough to walk away completely and for good.
Don’t Be Afraid to Distance Yourself
So much of moving on from someone and a past relationship is distancing yourself from everything about that person. That means not calling them, not texting them and especially not following them on social media. You don’t necessarily have to unfollow or block them but when you sit down and think about it, this may be your best bet actually.
When you break up with your significant other, you need to be away from them and what they’re doing in their individual life now. Just as they, too, should be away from what you’re doing in your life now, too. This is the healthiest scenario for you both and the fastest road to recovery.
So, if you live near your significant other, don’t be afraid to frequent different places to avoid them. Don’t be afraid to cut ties with mutual friends to protect yourself and your feelings and finally, don’t hesitate to unfollow your ex on social media. It’s not malicious, it’s simply prioritizing yourself.
Give Yourself Time
When recovering from a breakup, one of the biggest things that will help heal your wounds, that heals all wounds, really, is time. Of course, you want to be over things and back to normal right now. You want the pain and suffering to go away. You want the anger to pass. The biggest thing to remember is that it just doesn’t happen overnight. You have to embrace that.
So, allow yourself time to heal. Take the pain and frustration in stride and find ways, like exercise or meditation, past it. Additionally, don’t get involved with anyone else too soon. It won’t do you or them any good. Post break up, you need to focus on being along and giving yourself the time, you need to heal.
Giving yourself this time might be difficult at first, but the longer you focus on it and slowly put yourself back together, the more fondly you’ll look back on that time one day.
Focus on Self Care and Self Love
Part of taking time to heal after a break up is also how you take the time. During your time alone and your time of healing, it will help immensely if you focus on things like self-care and self-love.
So, do nice things for yourself, like getting that pedicure once a week, or splurging on that haircut that makes you feel brand-new. Even if it’s tiny things like dedicating your yoga practice to yourself and your well-being or taking a bubble bath at night and just relaxing before bed, these things should be your priorities!
Furthermore, make it a point to partake in things that help you focus on and take care of yourself. Like going to the gym, an exercise class, a yoga class or a meditation class. Read your favorite books, frequent your favorite places and so things simply because you like it and you want to. This is the time to treat yourself and be kind to yourself.
Make It A Point to Get into Something New
Post breakup is the perfect time to try something new or try something you’ve always wanted to try. Since it’s important you stay busy, there’s never been a better time to adopt a new hobby. And there’s nothing wrong with trying a few things out, or a lot of things out before you settle on one. Heck, you don’t even have to settle on one! Feel free and emboldened to try anything and everything you want!
From yoga, to kickboxing, to journaling, to taking a photography class, anything and everything that make you feel centered, focused, busy and worthwhile is perfect! So, do something for yourself and focus on staying busy by going to sign up for that gym membership, committing to a language class, telling your best friend you’ll take that vacation or submitting your name for the art class down the block.
Part of adopting a new hobby is about falling in love with something new and exciting so you can fall out of love with that relationship that is now in the past and you’re trying ot move on from.
Finally, if you’re looking for something new and interesting with a chance to meet new people, check out Colourlovers! Here, you can explore new ideas and meet new, interesting people!
Clean Up Your Life
To get over your ex, it will help to completely expel him or her and any memories of the relationship from your life. You don’t have to do this forever, there is something to be said for looking back on things, fondly, someday. But that’s the keyword: someday. Until you’re healed from this breakup, it’s better to just clean the mess up out of your life, for good.
So, delete all the pictures, throw away (or burn) all the notes, take down the pictures form your wall and from social media and give back anything that belongs to him or her. And yes, this includes presents!
Expelling these things from your life will allow you to replace them with new things and new memories—even a new relationship when the time is right. So, as they say, “out with the old and in with the new!”
Learn from This Experience
Last, but certainly not least, remind yourself that you also have so much to learn and gain from what’s happened in this relationship and then in the breakup process. Don’t just look at things with total destruction. Yes, things were or are difficult, and breaking up is hard, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t learn a lot in the process.
Take time to reflect back on things, good and bad and see what you learned. Chances are, you defiantly know what you want to change for a future relationship and how you want your life to be different while you’re not in one. Once you realize this, count your blessings! Breakups are some of the best and most valuable learning experiences.
Overall
Breaking up is hard but eventually, you’re going to be okay! It may not seem like it now, but there is a lot to learn and gain from this experience. From taking time to take care of yourself, to learning a new hobby, to meeting new, interesting people, to cleaning up the “junk” in your life, it’s clear, there are positive outcomes to even the worst of breakups. Remember to continue looking on the bright side, taking care of yourself and staying strong in your convictions. Remind yourself to follow these 10 tips for breaking up and you’ll be well on your way to recovery and better future relationships! And, remember, maybe after a breakup it will be decided to try things again. Take care!
